Mommy-festing.

Woke up with tears running from my eyes, and a longing feeling gnawing in my chest. I remembered begging to my conscious-side of mind, "If this is a dream, don't wake me up. Please, please let me stay here. I cannot give up on this life. I cannot give up on us!" 

Disappointment. That's what blanketed me when I opened my eyes. Whisking the tears away, I immediately Googled the only word I remembered from the life-like, vivid dream I had-- mingora. What is that? Have I heard that before? 

Mingora: Mingora is a city in the Swat District of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan. 

Maybe Emaan have mentioned it before. She is my only Pakistani friend I have, so it could be from her. 

"Hey, Emaan. Have you ever mentioned the word Mingora to/around me before?" I texted her after sleep has left me. 

"What's Mingora?" she replied. Huh. 

"It says here on Google, it's a city in Pakistan." 

"Oh, right! I just remembered, I have very distant relatives on my mom's side living there. I don't think I've ever mentioned it to you. What's up?"

Emaan's mom. Could it be? 

"Nothing, just asking. I've got to go. Talk to you later." I put my phone away as I tried to make sense of the dream I lived through just now.

I still remember the peacefulness, the calmness, the contentment that rushed through me all at once while I was that girl, smiling in her mom's embrace. We were on a couch in a beach house, watching a movie as some kind of festivity was being celebrated outside the house. From the ceiling-high windows, I could see people, those dear to me (or the girl), outside having the time of their lives. Everyone dressed up beautifully including me. I adorned a green dress, full of trinkets and jewelries. Mom's even more beautiful in white. Being in my mom's embrace, everything makes sense. What everything is the everything, I do not know. I just know that I am safe, and it is going to be okay. 

But that is not my mom, and I am not me. I am living someone else's life or could it be, someone else's past/future life? Could it be Emaan's? Knowing she has always had disputes and arguments with her mom. Could I have been manifesting the rekindling of their broken and taut relationship? 

I do not know. What I know is that I want to go back. Don't let me give up on me and my mom. 


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